Edward the Prankster
by Char.loves.to.write
Summary: Edward Cullen has a little pranking streak in him that none of us knew about...
1. Chapter 1

Edward the Prankster

Edward Cullen watched as Bella Swan boarded her plane to Arizona. She turned and waved; she didn't smile. He waved back, but he didn't smile either. All too soon, the plane was in the air and Edward was standing alone on the runway.

The ride back to Forks was long. Edward was fuming.

Charlie-Bella's father-had insisted on Bella going to spend the summer with Renee in Phoenix. Sunny, sunny Phoenix. Edward couldn't go to Phoenix because of the sun, and so, obviously, Bella didn't want to go. Charlie however, told her how lonely Renee was since Phil was in New York; a place too cold for Renee.

Edward glared out the windshield as he sped down the wet roads of Washington. He accelerated the car without thinking, suddenly smiling to himself.

"Maybe Chief Swan will give me a ticket," He said, the speed of the Volvo increasing.

Edward stopped in front of Bella's house. He had promised himself that he would be strong for Bella; not let her see what the short term separation was doing to him. As he remembered his promise, he snorted.

"The heck with that," He mumbled, getting out of the Volvo.

He jumped up to Bella's second story window-which was left open-and slid through. He went and sat on her bed, fumbling with the tassels on her pillows. He looked at her dresser, at the picture of him and Bella at school. They were leaning in towards each other, deep in conversation. Jessica Stanley had had her camera and took the picture. After she sent in a scan to the yearbook committee-nominating Edward and Bella as "Cutest Couple of the Year"-she gave it to Bella.

Edward smiled. He was remembering the first time he saw her in the cafeteria, she had been so embarrassed when he had caught her staring. He frowned.

"I miss her," He mumbled pathetically. "And, while you and I are being honest with one another, let me just say that I miss her a lot. More than a lot." He stood up and continued talking to himself. 

"I mean really, Edward, you would think that you could handle this."

"Yes. I _should _be able to, but I can't."

"Another thing you can't do."

"Shut up, Edward."

"I can't-don't you dare say anything."

"Fine. Why can't you shut up?"

"Because if you don't shut up, then I can't. We are the same person after all."

Edward's phone vibrated. He looked at the caller ID-he all but broke off the top of the small flip phone trying to answer it.

"Bella?" He asked, breathless.

"Edward! Hey. Are you okay?" Bella asked-she was breathless, too.

"I'm fine, I'm fine. What about you? The plane is still in the air, isn't it? You're not in the hospital or anything are you? Bella?"

"Calm down, I'm okay. I'm using the phone on the plane."

"Oh."

"Edward, are you sure you're okay? You looked sick when I got on the plane; I was so worried. I would've called sooner, but the phones weren't working."

"I swear, I'm alright."

"Okay. The attendant is glaring at me. Apparently I'm not supposed to be using the phone…"

Edward chuckled. "They told you not to use the phone before you called me, didn't they?"

"Yeah, they did." She said, sheepishly.

"I'm glad you didn't listen."

"I'll be glad when this week is over."

"Week? I thought you were staying the whole summer."

"Edward. A whole summer without you? As if." Bella chuckled. "You really miss me, don't you?"

Edward snorted. "Bella, do I even need to explain what I tell you everyday once again?"

"You don't have to explain, Edward. I already know."

"What do you already know?"

"That you love me."

"Yes. More than you know."

"I love you, too, Edward."

"I'm very, very thankful for that fact."

"I have to go. I'll call you when I get to my mom's, okay?"

"I'll be waiting. I love you, Bella."

"I love you more."

Edward laughed. "I love you till the day I die."

Bella sighed. "Okay you win."

"I'll talk to you soon, Bella."

"Bye, Edward."

"Bye, Bella."

"Oh, and Edward," Bella chuckled.

"Yes?"

"Don't have any arguments with yourself. You were doing that on the way to the airport."

Edward laughed. "I'll try. Love you, Bella." "Love you, too, Edward."

_CLICK!_

Edward closed the phone and sighed.

He grinned. "It's only a week. A week in Bella's house." Edward remembered Charlie then. "Hmm, Charlie. What can I do about Charlie?"

_Later…Charlie's home…_

Edward could hear Charlie stomp his feet on the front porch. He heard Charlie open the front door and step in.

"Bells?" Charlie called.

Edward rolled his eyes.

"Oh, that's right! She's with Renee. Wow, Charlie. You're loosing it.

"Time to have some fun," Edward grinned. 

Edward clunked down the stairs, imitating Bella's steps perfectly, and called out to Charlie in Bella's voice.

"Dad?" Charlie heard Bella's voice.

"Great. Now I'm hearing things," He mumbled.

"Dad?"

"Bells? Where are you?"

Edward heard Charlie coming towards the stairs.

"Uh. Dad, I'm in a towel. Don't come any farther."

Charlie skidded to a stop. "Bells, why didn't you go to Renee's?"

"Well, Dad, I couldn't leave without telling you…" Edward ignored the urge to clear his throat-speaking in a girl's voice was extremely difficult.

"Tell me what?"

"You promise you won't get mad?"

"Bella."

"Okay, okay. Edward and I are getting married."

Charlie's breathing stopped. Edward listened for any signs that Charlie was moving, but heard none. He tried to listen to his thoughts, but he couldn't make out what Charlie was yelling inside his head.

"ISABELLA MARIE SWAN!"

Edward chuckled quietly. "Yes, Dad?"

"What on earth do you mean? You and Edward are getting married?"

"Dad! I thought you would be happy for me!" Edward made his voice sound like Bella was crying.

"How can I be happy when you spring this kind of thing on me?!" Charlie fumed. "You always say how old fashioned Edward is; Well, why didn't he come and ask me first?"

Edward didn't speak. He was doing the awkward-silence thing Bella did when she was embarrassed. 

"Dad," Bella's voice finally spoke, "There are two reasons why Edward didn't ask you…One is because he was scared that you would shoot him-"

Charlie snorted.

Edward rolled his eyes and continued in Bella's voice. "The second was because he was too embarrassed."

Charlie scoffed, "Embarrassed? Please, Bella, tell me something I can believe. Why would Edward be so embarrassed? He's plenty sure of himself any other time…"

"Oh my gosh, Dad. You are totally missing it."

"Missing what, Bells?"

Edward took a deep breathe and crept back up the stairs silently. He could here Charlie's breathing pick up. "Well, you see, Dad. Um, Edward and I have always been super careful, you know that. And, um," Edward cleared his throat in Bella's voice. "Well, we um, you know…we just kinda…um…slipped."

Charlie's breath stopped again. "Slipped?"

"Say hello, Papa Charlie…"

"Isabella _Marie_ Swan-"

"Cullen," Bella's voice corrected Charlie.

"ISABELLA MARIE SWAN! YOU'RE PREGNANT?!"

"Yes. I am."

"AND _EDWARD CULLEN_ IS THE FATHER?!"

"Mmm-hmm."

Silence. Did he pass out?

Edward crept down the stairs once again and peeked around the edge of the wall. He sighed. Charlie _had _passed out. Edward carried Charlie up to his room and threw him on the bed.

"He'll never make it through the week…" Edward chuckled. "Well, it's all a dream now. Good night, Charlie."

Edward left the room and shut the door. With a resigned sigh, he went to sit by the telephone, waiting for Bella's call. The phone rang.

"Hello?" He asked.

"Hey, Edward!" Bella.

"Bella. How was your flight?"

"It was great. How was your day?"

"Well, it was quite interesting." Edward chuckled.

"What did you do to Charlie?"

"How did you know?"

"I know you. Now, what did you do to the poor man?" Bella chuckled.

Edward cleared his throat. "Bella, love, let's just say that it's a good thing I can't get you pregnant, because it would not be a pretty sight."


	2. Chapter 2

Edward Cullen laughed as Charlie Swan pulled out of the driveway. He rubbed his hands together and ran up to Bella's room. It was Thursday.

Bella had left on Sunday and was coming back on Saturday.

"So little time, so much to do," Edward mumbled as he scrawled his plans in a notebook on Bella's desk.

Edward had messed with Charlie's mind when he had woken up Monday morning, and he had played cruel jokes on Charlie on Tuesday and Wednesday. It had been hilarious watching him call Bella and ask her if she was pregnant. Edward had gotten an earful from her later…

Edward had tampered with the cruiser that morning. He had cut the back seats so that he could climb from the backseat into the trunk, or vice versa by simply pushing down on the middle seat. Edward knew what he was going to do today.

Charlie arrived at the station a little muddled. He barely gotten any sleep last night-he kept hearing Bella singing and the shower running but whenever he went to check if it really was her, all was quiet. He was irritable and tired-an irritable and tired Charlie wasn't what anyone wanted to put up with.

"Hey, Charlie. How was your night?" Deputy Darrell said, drinking coffee.

"Guess," Charlie grumbled.

"Okay, well, um, I'll just take the call on La Push myself."

"The call on La Push?"

"Yeah. There were some reports about rowdy teenagers."

"I'll take care of it, Darrell." Charlie slipped his jacket back on.

Darrell stopped sipping his coffee. "No, no, Charlie. I got it. You go on and work on that paperwork."

Charlie stopped at his office door. "Paperwork?"

Darrell chuckled. "I was kidding. I'll take care of the teenagers; you just go relax until you're needed."

Charlie opened his office's door and stalked to his desk. He threw himself into the chair and sighed….

"Charlie, what are you doing?"

Charlie shot up out of his chair. "What? Who's there?"

"Charlie, honestly, you should really be doing your job."

"What?"

"Charlie, you know about the motorcycle accident. Go do your job!"

"Who are you?"

"I'm your conscience. You should be feeling guilty right about now."

Charlie gaped. "Why?"

"Those innocent people called 911, and you answered the call. Now they're all going to die, Charlie!"

Charlie set his jaw and nodded his head. "Edward Cullen. Alright, hotshot, where are you?"

Edward suppressed a laugh. He crawled across the ceiling quietly until he was directly over Charlie. "Why, Charlie, I'm right here."

Charlie spun in circles. "Edward?"

"Charlie! The innocent people!"

Charlie's loyalty to his job stopped his search for Edward. He was out the door and speeding down the highway in a matter of seconds. Little did he know, Edward was in the trunk.

Charlie arrived on the scene that Darrell had told him about on the phone-Darrell, who had really been Edward at the time.

Charlie got out of the cruiser-so did Edward. There was no one there. Charlie's eyes scanned the trees, no one. All of the sudden the branches cracked. Charlie pulled out his gun.

"They're over here!" A broken voice sobbed.

"Who are you?" Charlie called.

"I killed them all!"

"What?"

"I'm so sorry Charlie!"

Charlie thought he recognized the voice, but he wasn't sure.

"Who's there?"

Charlie heard a gun being loaded-he shot without thinking.

Silence-then a yell.

"Charlie! You--you--shot--"

Charlie ran through the trees, only to find Edward Cullen sprawled out on the ground. There was a hole in Edward's shirt-red stained his chest.

"Edward?" Charlie fell to his knees.

He placed a hand on Edward's shoulder-the boy was cold.

"Tell Bella that I--"

"Hey, Edward! Edward! Hey, bud, you're alright. Edward?"

Silence.

Charlie's head fell. His eyes landed on the cell phone in Edward's hands. He pried it out of the boy's fingers and looked at the screen. He winced. Edward had dialed Bella's cell phone number. Charlie held the phone to his ear and began to walk away from Edward's dead body.

"Hey, Edward! What's up?" It was Bella.

"Bella, honey, I-"

"Charlie? What happened?"

Charlie sat in the cruiser now. "Sweetheart, I think I…I…I think I killed…"

"Hang on, Dad. Someone's on the other line."

_BEEP!_

"Hello?" Bella asked.

"Hello, love." Edward purred.

"Hey! Say, did you lose your cell phone?"

"Yes. I think I left it at your house…Why?"

"My dad just called me from it…"

Edward grinned. "Really? Well, I'll have to go get it from him."

"Yeah. Well, he's on the other line. I'll call you back. Love you."

"I love you, too, Bella."

_BEEP!_

"Dad?"

"Hey, Bells. I was trying to tell you, that I…I…I think I killed Edward."

"What?"

"I had no idea it was him, hon. I swear! I'm so sorry!"

"Dad." Bella growled. "That was Edward on the other line. What kind of sick, cruel joke are you playing?"

Charlie was muddled. Hadn't he shot Edward? He felt the phone in his hands-there wasn't one. He looked around to see if he could see Edward laying there in the trees-he saw wooden walls. He was still in his office. He shook his head.

"Some dream," He muttered.

"Edward Anthony Masen Cullen. What did you do to Charlie now?" Bella growled.

"I just made it look like he killed me."

"Edward!"

"But he thinks it was a dream!" Edward laughed half-heartedly.

"This is so not funny!" But Bella was laughing.

"Why are you laughing then, love?"

"Okay, okay. It was kind of funny, The way he fell for it and everything."

"You just have to play along."

"I will. But mind you, angry grizzlies are going to look tame next to what you're gonna get when I come home."

Edward laughed. "The last time you said that…"

"Oh, be quiet, you little prankster!"

"Yes, Bella. But, be warned. I'm no where near finished."


	3. Chapter 3

Edward Cullen walked up to Charlie Swan's door and knocked. Charlie answered.

"Edward?" Charlie shook his head, remembering his strange dream at the station on Thursday.

"Hello, Charlie," Edward grinned as he heard Charlie's reminiscing, "I was wondering if I could go pick Bella up?"

Charlie set his jaw. "Why don't we both go?"

Edward's jaw clenched. "Sure." Edward turned and glided to his Volvo. He didn't bother to open the passenger door for Charlie.

Charlie came outside, but he didn't get in Edward's car. "How about I drive, Edward?"

Edward laughed. "No, Charlie. I can drive."

"I insist, Edward."

"I'll save you some money."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing."

"Edward Cullen, remember that I am the sheriff of this town."

"If I had a penny for every time you told me that one," Edward muttered.

"I heard that."

Edward pinched the bridge of his nose with his index finger and his thumb.

"Get in the car, Charlie."

"Excuse me?"

"Charlie, please."

Charlie snorted. "Okay, okay. You didn't have to growl, Edward."

Edward slung his door open, breaking it off of its hinges in the process. He muttered a slur of profanities.

"Something wrong with the Volvo, there, Edward?" Charlie stuck his hands in his pocket.

"No," Edward had a way to fix it. "It's fine. Just get in the car, Charlie."

Charlie opened the passenger door and got in.

Edward darted to the trunk, and returned before the door could crash into the driveway. He had gotten the necessary tools to re-attach the door, attached it again, and put the tools back in the trunk in a matter of seconds.

Edward got in the car in silence. He had just gotten an idea.

He had to be careful not to speed, what with Charlie sitting right next to him.

Eventually, Charlie spoke. "Why don't you get a nicer looking car, Edward?"

Edward chuckled. "Because I've put too much money into this one."

"Oh really? What have you done to it?"

"I'm getting a metal guard to go in between the front seat and the backseat. Like the one you have in the cruiser. I'm also going to get a spot engraved in the trunk with your name on it." Edward grinned as he saw Charlie's face get red.

"That's pre-meditated murder."

"It wouldn't kill you."

Charlie was silent. Finally, he looked back over to Edward-the driver's seat was empty and the car was flying down the road.

"What the-" Charlie looked out the windshield and saw Edward standing ten feet ahead of the car. It was going to hit him.

"Edward?!" Charlie reached out to take the wheel, but his hands landed on something cold. He looked over to see that his hand was grabbing Edward's.

Edward stared down at Charlie's hand on his.

"Charlie," Edward said with mock surprise, "I didn't know that you went for younger men. Please, don't take this the wrong way, but I'm straight. That would explain why I'm dating your daughter."

Charlie snatched his hand away. "Oh, shut up, hotshot."

"Yes, sir."

Charlie glared at him.

Everything around him was suddenly black.

"Edward, did we go through a tunnel?"

Silence.

"Edward?" Charlie croaked. It was hard to breathe.

Charlie realized that he was laying down. His hands felt around him as he gasped for air. Felt. He was in the trunk. He closed his eyes and tried to yell.

"Edward Cullen! Edward!" He gasped. "Someone help! I'm in the trunk! He put me in the trunk! Help! Hey!"

Charlie's eyes flew open. He looked around.

People were walking by, staring at him. Some kids were pointing and laughing. He spun around.

Edward was leaning over a very agitated Bella. Charlie almost smiled. Edward's expression was filled with remorse. Charlie shook his head, wondering what the heck was going on.

Bella put her index finger into Edward's chest. "Edward Anthony-"

Edward placed a finger over her lips. "Hush, love. He's still breathing isn't he?"

"Edward, that's not the point. Charlie's not much younger than Harry, and…"

"Isabella Marie Swan. Would I let anything happen to your father?"

"No."

Edward frowned. "You're not even happen to see me, you're so angry."

Bella winced, realizing what her anger must have done to him. "Edward, I'm sorry! I missed you so much!"

She stood on her tiptoes and kissed him. A few of the couples walking by stopped. The men seemed to be making mental notes and the women's' expressions said, "Why isn't _my_ man like that?"

Charlie gagged. Bella pulled away and blushed, noticing the crowd. Edward seemed unabashed.

"Pig," Charlie muttered.

Edward snarled, but Bella ran up and hugged her father. "Hey, Dad. I missed you."

Charlie laughed. "I missed you, too."

Edward came to stand beside Bella again. "Why don't I take us to lunch?"

Charlie waved his hand. "You drove here, I'll pay, Edward."

"I can take care of it, Charlie. Bella? Where would you like to go?"

Charlie answered for her. "She'd like to go to wherever her father can pay for."

"Charlie, I _will_ pay for lunch."

"No, you won't."

"How much do you want to bet on that?"

"My life."

"That can be arranged."

Bella stepped in between the two and put one of her arms around each of their shoulders, and the trio began to walk forward-Edward and Charlie glaring at each other.

Bella laughed shakily. "Ah, what family love!"

FIN

A/N- I'll only consider making a sequel if you guys want one, so write reviews and tell me what you want, okay? If you ask, you shall receive….lol


	4. Chapter 4

By Bella

Edward Cullen and Bella Swan walked into the lunch room of Forks High School. Edward was exceptionally happy and Bella had no idea why.

"Why are you so giddy?" She said, eating her apple.

He grinned. "I came up with the perfect prank."

Bella moaned and slammed her head into the table. "And you want my help?"

"Yes."

"Edward, why do you like to prank people? Who do you want to prank?"

"Jessica Stanley."

"No! Edward! What are you going to do to her?"

"Nothing too terrible, love. I just want to see if I can still dazzle her."

Bella shook her head. "Edward. This one won't work."

"Alice said it would."

"And, what did Alice have to say about your plan?"

"She didn't like it, but thought that it was hilarious. She's so confusing," Edward grinned.

Bella sighed. "You'll come get me tonight?"

Edward frowned. "Did Alice tell you?"

"She said you were coming to get me tonight."

"Yes. I'll be there."

_10 pm--Jessica's house_

"Are you ready?" Bella called to Edward from the front porch.

"Yes."

Bella knocked on the Stanley's door. It's a good thing her parents are out of town, Bella thought.

Jessica opened the door. "Bella?"

Bella began panting. "Jess! You have to help me! Please let me in!"

"Okay, come on in," Jess mumbled.

"Shut the door!" Bella shrieked.

"Okay, okay!" Jess slammed it. "What do you want, Bella?"

"Edward is trying to kill me," Bella sobbed.

"What? Are you serious? Puh-leeze, Bella. Who would believe that? How do you know?"

"Because I saw him in my room holding a knife! He walked across the room and tried to stab me! I swear! Jess, you have to let me hide here!"

"Bella, your dad is a cop…"

"A cop that's out of town visiting his sister! Edward picked the perfect night to strike…"

Outside the front door, Edward was holding in laughter. Bella _was_ a good actress after all.

Jessica shook her head. "Whatever. You can sleep on the-"

A loud bang on the door.

"Jess!" Bella shrieked. "It's him! Run!" Bella fled up the stairs and hid in a closet.

Jessica glanced at the door, then ran down her hallway. She ran into something hard.

Edward laughed darkly. "Hello, Jessica."

Jessica began backing up. "Edward? How did you get in here?"

"I used the back door. You forgot to lock it."

"Where's Bella?"

"Gone."

"You killed her?" Jessica sobbed.

"Maybe. What should I do with you?"

"Let me go."

"Ha! I think that you misunderstood; I was talking to myself, Jess," Edward rose something silver in his left hand. "I'll be quick."

Jessica blacked out.

_The next morning, at school…_

Jessica Stanley remembered her nightmare very well. Edward Cullen had killed her and Bella. Jess didn't even acknowledge Bella's wave from across the lunch room. He was there. Jess felt foolish, being scared of someone who tried to kill her in a dream, but she couldn't help it. She had been successful at avoiding Edward all day.

Sick to her stomach all of the sudden, Jessica got up and threw her trash away. She was walking back to her seat-looking down-when she looked up and saw Edward staring down at her.

"Hello, Jessica," He said, winking. "How did you sleep last night?"

Jessica's scream echoed through the hallways of the entire school. She ran out of the cafeteria, not taking one look back.

_At the Cullens' house_

Alice and Bella were rolling on the floor laughing. Edward had just told Emmett and Jasper the story, so now their guffaws sounded in the room.

"Edward, you are brilliant!" Alice chortled.

"Charlie was better," Emmett said, grinning. "Jessica was pretty funny, too, though."

Jasper grinned. "Who's next, Ed?"

Edward became thoughtful. "I think I'm going to do Ms. Cope. Or maybe Mike Newton…"

Bella moaned. "Oh, fabulous."

A/N- u guys get to decide! Tell me who you want Edward to prank next: Ms. Cope or Mike!!

And to the people who wanted more romance, I'm sorry! I'm working on incorporating that in, but it's kinda hard. If you guys want a new story (a serious one) tell me, because I'm better at all the lovey dovey stuff in those type of stories. Thanks for reading!!

Bella


	5. Chapter 5

Mike Newton followed Bella outside after school.

"Hey, since Edward left early today, do you need a ride home?"

Bella groaned internally. "No. He came to pick me up. See?" She pointed to Edward's Volvo, which Edward was getting out of.

Edward smiled as he came over to stand beside Bella. "Newton."

"Cullen," Mike nodded. "So, Bella, I'm going to the beach on Saturday with a couple of the kids from school. Wanna come?"

Bella shook her head. "I already have plans."

"Oh."

"Bella, we have to get home. See you around, Mike," Edward said.

"Yeah. Later, guys." Mike sulked off.

The ride to the Cullens' house was filled with laughter. Bella's eyes were watering and Edward could hardly drive; that made the two of them laugh harder.

"Oh, Bella. What did they give you in Biology today?" Edward chuckled.

"Did you see the look on his face?" Bella wheezed as she got out of the car.

"Yes, I did. Wait till you see what I have in store for him."

Edward opened the front door of the house to reveal Emmett and Jasper sprawled out on the floor, cracking up.

Jasper got up and grinned. "Genius. Poor Mike."

Emmett chuckled. "This is going to be good."

Edward shrugged and Bella rolled her eyes.

"More pranks?" She laughed.

"Duh!" All three of the boys said in unison.

Edward cleared his throat. "Well, not pranks, really. Their more like annoyances."

"So what do you have in store for Mike?"

Edward grinned. "Phase one begins now. Emmett, dial."

Emmett picked up the house phone, dialed a number, and put it on speaker.

"Hello?" Mike.

"Like, hey, dude!" Jasper spoke in a really high voice, reading off of a piece of paper. "What is up?"

"Hey, idiot, guess what?"

"Like, what?"

"I have caller ID."

"I know, silly! This way you have my number so you call me back." Jasper's voice got deep again and he glared at Edward. "Funny," he muttered.

"Is this Edward?"

Edward snatched the phone from Jasper. "You called?"

"You called me."

"No, that was Emmett."

"Whatever. Look, Cullen, what do you want?"

Jasper coughed. "We want you for dinner!"

All of them, Bella included, roared with laughter.

"So, will you come, Mike?"

"Will Bella be there?"

Jasper howled like a dog. "Aw no he didn't!"

Edward sighed. "I'm afraid you've offended us, Mike. But, yes, Bella will be here."

Jasper laughed. "She's the main course."

A chair went flying into him-Edward had thrown it.

"Alright. I'll come. What time?"

"Now."

"Okay, see you guys."

"Bye, Mikey!" Jasper crowed.

Edward hung up, and joined in with Emmett and Bella's guffaws. Jasper walked over and tapped Edward on the shoulder.

"Yeah, Jazz?" Edward stood up.

Emmett chuckled. "Ha, Jazz…that's funny."

"Shut up, Emmett," Jasper growled. "Edward, why am I so….girly?"

"All part of the plan. You see, we're going to annoy him to death tonight. Here's how it's going to work: You are going to be…well, you figured that one out yourself. Emmett is going to be a professional dancer, Rosalie gets to play dumb, Carlisle and Esme are going to be off-the-wall crazy, Alice is going to be severely random, and Bella gets to be dark and depressing. We are all going to be crazy."

Jasper half smiled. "And what about you?"

Edward grimaced. "Emmett said I had to think that I was Dracula."

"Okay. As long as the rest of you look stupid, I'm good."

A car crunched on the gravel. "Dang," Emmett whispered. "He's fast."

Edward sighed. "He was probably stalking Bella."

Bella groaned. "Don't jinx it!"

"Hey, phase two! Let's go!" Edward called.

The whole family lined up in the center of the living room. Edward turned off the lights. Mike knocked.

"Come in," Esme chimed.

Mike opened the door. "Hey, it's kinda dark in here."

The lights flicked on.

"Ow! The light; it burns!" Edward fell to the ground. "I'm melting!"

Alice started jumping on the couches. "Purple!" She crowed.

Jasper whistled. "Boy, you are so fine!"

Emmett chuckled. "Did you see my sashay, Esme?"

Esme and Carlisle stared at each other. "Bats!" They yelled and ran off to the kitchen.

Bella moaned. "The world is filled with light; light that is cruel!"

Edward's head popped up and he sat up on his knees. "I know! That's what I said."

Rosalie smacked her gum. "Where am I again?"

Esme yelled from the kitchen. "Antarctica, honey! Remember?"

Rosalie frowned. "I thought it was supposed to be shaped like an elephant's ear!"

Carlisle spoke now. "No, that's Goo-ville."

"Oh," Rosalie smiled.

Mike stared at all them, unmoving. "Um, hi. I'm Mike."

"Hi, Mickey! I'm Rose," said Rosalie.

"It's Mike," Mike mumbled.

"Oh," Rose giggled.

"I'm Nana," Esme said, walking back into the room.

"I'm Craig," said Carlisle.

"You know me," Jasper winked and Mike shuddered.

"I'm Bella. Whoopee," Bella said, rolling her eyes.

"Did you hear that? Hi, I'm Alice!" Alice said, getting off of the couch.

"I'm Emmett. So You Think You Can Dance, here I come!" Emmett flexed his muscles for some reason.

"And I," Edward had a black cloak on. "Vant to suck your vlood!"

Mike smiled uneasily. "Nice to meet you all."

"Come," Edward said, walking to the dining room. "Dinner is served."

Once everyone was seated, Edward took a fork and poked Mike's arm.

Esme frowned and went to stand behind Mike and pulled out the tag on his shirt.

"Sorry, Ed, but your on a diet. Mike's too many calories."

"But I vant him Esme!" Edward whined. "Please?"

"No."

"Stupid Veight Vatchers." Edward growled.

Mike shuddered again. "So what's for dinner?"

Carlisle shrugged. "I don't know. Monique should have cooked something."

"Who's Monique?" Mike asked.

"Me!" Esme chimed.

"I thought you were Nana," Mike sighed.

"Do I look like a grama to you?" Esme snapped her fingers.

"Don't worry, Mitch," Rosalie said, "She's crazy.

"It's Mike."

"Oh!" Rose frowned. "Sorry, Malachi."

Mike groaned.

"That's something we have in common," Bella sighed. "Groaning is my favorite noise."

Mike looked at her like she was insane.

"So," Jasper grinned. "What did you do with yourself today, Mikey?"

Mike shuddered-again. "I worked on keeping my dignity."

"You are so funny!" Jasper turned to Alice. "Isn't he, like, so funny?"

Alice's eyes got big. "Do you guys like pickles?"

Edward gagged. "They taste vike dirt."

Mike glanced at him. "What was that, Count Dracula?"

Edward slammed his fist down on the table-gently for him-and stood.

"See? At least someone respects me!"

Emmett did a pirouette. "But you're not a vampire, Ed."

Edward opened his mouth, exposing fake vampire teethe. "Then, how do you explain these?"

"Halloween store?" Bella grumbled.

"I would never stoop to zat level!" Edward roared. "They are 100 percent real, zank you very much!"

Rosalie giggled. "Dracula was Norwegian, not French."

"You mean, European?" Mike corrected.

"No." Rose shook her head.

"Okay, well. I'm going to the bathroom." Mike got up from the table.

"It is down zee hall, and to zee left. Perhaps I should come with you, and show you zee way?" Edward grinned darkly.

"Uh," Mike stammered. "No thanks." He stole out of the room.

When the Cullens all heard the squeal of tires speeding down the driveway and away from the house, they all laughed.

Edward ripped out the plastic fangs. "Ridiculous," He muttered. "Hey, guys, phase three is tomorrow! Muuuaaaaahhhhahahaha!"

Rosalie scowled. "Oh, cut it out. Edward."

Bella laughed. "That was so much fun!"

"Told you so," Edward said. "I am always right."

"Keep telling yourself that, Edward," Emmett chuckled.

A/N: TO BE CONTINUED!!


	6. Chapter 6

Mike Newton walked nervously to the cafeteria. He'd been avoiding all of the Cullens-even Bella-all day. But he knew that they would find him here. Mike got in line for food and when he was done, he went to sit at his usual table. Something cold was on his shoulder. He spun around to find Jasper Cullen smiling at him.

"Will you sit with my family and I today?" Jasper batted his eyelashes.

"Not just you, though, right? Your whole family?"

Jasper frowned. "Yeah."

"Okay. I will."

Mike and Jasper walked over to the Cullen table. Mike groaned as he saw things hadn't changed from the other night.

Rosalie was blowing a big bubble of gum, Emmett was doing the moves to _Thriller_, Bella was putting on black nail polish, and Alice was frowning.

"Cupcakes! Do you guys like cupcakes?" She crowed.

The rest of them looked at her like she was crazy. Jasper and Mike sat down. That was when Edward came over with his tray. Of course, he had on a black cloak again.

"Mike!" He said, exposing fake fangs. "You've returned, my dear friend!"

He still had the stupid accent, too.

"How vas your night?" Edward said, sitting down.

Mike gulped. "Good. Yours?"

"Splendid. Zank you."

"Don't mention it."

Mike started eating his pizza, not noticing that all of them were staring at him.

Rosalie yawned and fell over. She started cracking up from under the table. Alice ran off to one side off the cafeteria and then ran back.

"I felt like running," She giggled, then took off again.

Bella got up and, before she left, patted Mike on the shoulder. "Stay in the sun," She whispered before she left.

Emmett and Jasper picked Rose up, then they were gone, too. It was just Mike and Edward. Mike frowned, then began eating again. Edward burst into sobs.

"Mike," he balled. "What do I do?"

Mike almost choked on his pizza. "What?"

"I don't think Bella loves me anymore!"

"Duh. What kind of girl would date a vampire?"

Edward chuckled. "You do smell so good, Newton." Edward had to stifle a gag. Newton smelled like sour grapes. "One little sip?"

Mike blanched. "Edward, you're not a vampire. You're just extremely annoying."

Edward chuckled. "I'm sorry, Mike. My family and I will leave you alone, now. Goodbye."

Edward got up and started to walk away, but he turned and held the cloak so that only his eyes were showing.

"But in case dis situation comes up again, my friend, I get first bite!"

Mike let his head fall into the table.

A/N: okay, this one wasn't as good in my opinion. I wanted to update, though. Tell me what you thought and who should be the next victim. Thanks for reading!! REVIEW PLEASE!!

Bella


	7. Chapter 7

Edward Cullen walked out of the Black's house, fighting laughter. Emmett and Jasper waited in the jeep.

"Hurry!" Emmett called.

Edward hopped into the back of the jeep, and Emmett drove it towards the trees. Once the jeep was hidden, the boys went back to the house-to wait.

A few minutes later, Bella's truck pulled into the driveway.

Jacob Black hopped up off of his couch inside the house and opened the front door for Bella. She smiled as she shut her truck door, not noticing the three Cullen boys watching from the trees along the side of the house.

As she got closer to the door, she smelled something odd. She realized what it was and wrinkled her nose; she then looked at the floor of the house, only to see it lying in a heap under Jacob.

"Hey, Bells. Wanna come in?" Jacob said.

The Cullen boys snickered.

"Why don't you come out here, Jake?" Bella coughed.

"Why? Is this some stupid prank?"

"No, but…uh….well, Jake," She stopped talking.

"What, Bells?"

"Did you phase back before you went into the house?"

"I phased as I was walking in the door. But, why does that matter, Bella?"

Bella wrinkled her nose again. "Jake, do you just not notice when you're in wolf form…well, when you…" She pointed to the pile of crap behind Jacob.

He looked behind him and had to work quite a bit to jump over the massive pile.

"That is not mine," Jacob said, pointing.

Outside, Edward, Emmett, and Jasper were thankful that they didn't have to breathe, because at the moment, they were laughing too hard to do just that.

"Jake," Bella sighed, "I am not coming in until you clean it up."

"I didn't do that!"

"Who did, then? Billy?"

"Well…"

"Jake! Clean!" Bella took a step back, only to notice the large wet spot on the brick exterior of the Blacks' home. "Eww, Jake! Do you really have to mark your territory?"

"I didn't do that!" He said, exasperated.

"Look, I'll come back when this is all taken care of." Bella walked to her car, but then saw the wet spot on her truck's hood. "Are you kidding me? I _am not your _territory! Don't you dare go around marking my stuff! Or me!"

"Maybe Edward did that one!" Jacob called. "Oh, wait. He can't do that, can he?"

Bella shook her head, aggravated, and drove away.

Jacob grumbled unhappily as he mopped the side of the house. He heard a few chuckles and spun around. Three figures threw something at him-stink bombs.

"Ugh!" Jacob said as the socks full of…well, everything….splattered onto him.

The Cullen boys ran off to the jeep, got in, and sped away. Emmett and Jasper gave Edward huge High Fives. They all laughed at the expression on Bella's face.

**Back at the Blacks' house….**

"Cullen!" Jacob roared, wiping the socks' content off of himself. "Ugh!"

He stormed inside and called Bella.

"Hello?" She said.

"Do you know what your bloodsucking boyfriend did?"

Little did he know that Edward, Emmett, and Jasper were already with Bella, telling her what to say.

"Jacob Black! How could you say that?! Quit calling them bloodsuckers!"

"Fine," He snapped. "Answer my question."

"No. I don't know what Edward did to you."

"He set me up! The crud and the pee-"

"That's gross, Jake."

"Let me finish! And the stink bombs; it was all him!"

"Edward didn't cause all of your stink, Jake. You take care of that part yourself."

"Bells, you gotta believe me!"

"Sorry, Jake. I have to go. Bye!"

_Click_!

Jacob slammed the phone down angrily and went back to cleaning.

A/N: Any ideas for the next victim??


	8. Chapter 8

Lauren Mallory swished her corn silk blond hair out of her eyes. She was glad that it was grown out again; everyone had made fun of her when she had cut it.

She glared at Bella, who was sitting with the Cullens…as usual.

_Stupid little brat_, Lauren thought. _Why are you so special? They wouldn't even let me in._

Emmett noticed Lauren's glare and poked Edward.

"Is she thinking about us?" Emmett asked.

Edward nodded. "Yes."

"We should prank her. Get her to cut her hair again and reveal the true Barbie she is!" Emmett gave Jasper a high five.

Jasper cleared his throat. "_You _could convince her to, Edward. You know she'd do it then."

Emmett chuckled with delight. "Yeah! Act all interested in her!"

Edward shook his head. "It would upset Bella."

"Hey, Bella," Emmett called across the table. "You care if Edward hits on Lauren for a prank?"

Bella shook her head. "No. But, I want to watch!" She gave Emmett a high five.

The three Cullen boys all leaned in, making plans for later that night.

_Roughly 11 PM…Lauren's home alone…_

"Rabbit, this is Pooh Bear. Do you copy?" Emmett whispered into his walkie talkie from a tree in Lauren's yard."

"This is Rabbit." The walkie talkie whispered back.

"All plans go?"

"Yes. Cue Tigger." Jasper chuckled.

Emmett nodded and waved to Edward who was waiting in the Volvo. On cue, the car made a loud popping noise, and Edward got out and jogged to Lauren's front door. He knocked and heard her walk to the door.

She flung it open, then smiled. "Hey, Edward. Can I help you?"

"Yes, please. My car broke down and I need to use a telephone."

Lauren was already scheming away. "It's about to storm; why don't you stay awhile?"

Edward grinned. "Thank you."

"Come on in," Lauren smiled.

Edward nodded and walked into Lauren's house. She led him to the living room and sat on the couch. Edward grimaced internally as he sat down next to her. He saw Bella, Jasper, and Emmett peaking through the window behind Lauren.

"So, Lauren," Edward said, "Why did you let your hair grow out?"

"Because no one liked it."

Edward looked down at the couch, then looked up at her from under his eyelashes. "I did."

She widened her eyes. "You did?"

"Yes. Very much. I was quite saddened when you decided to wear it long."

"Well, I could always cut it again."

He smiled. "You're very pretty."

Outside, Emmett chuckled. "BS."

Lauren blushed. "Thanks." _So are you_, She thought.

Edward fought a gag. "You're welcome."

Lauren scooted closer to him and Edward tried not to gag again. "Why do you love Bella?"

"She's my whole world…well, she used to be." Edward frowned.

"What do you mean?" Lauren hid her satisfaction.

"Well, I've decided that I need more than her. Someone more…mature."

Emmett grinned. _But, Eddie, you already have a forty year old._

Edward shot Emmett a dark look.

"You need someone more mature?" Lauren prodded.

"Yes. Like you." Edward grinned.

"Edward, you can have me." Lauren said, dazed.

_Sheesh. She's a_- Edward shot another dark look to Jasper who shut up.

"But, Lauren, you have to do something for me first," Edward whispered.

"What, Edward?"

"Cut your hair. Come to school tomorrow with it cut. Meet me in the auditorium."

Lauren nodded. "I will."

The house phone rang; Lauren answered it.

"Hello? Yes, he is. How did you know? Oh. I see." She handed the phone to Edward. "Your brother."

Edward smiled. "Yes, Emmett. Mmm-hmm. Yes. See you soon." Edward hung up. "My brother contacted a tow truck."

There was a knock on the door. Lauren answered it.

The Volvo was loaded onto the truck (by Jasper) and Emmett waved from the Jeep.

"Good night, Edward." Lauren winked.

"Evening, Lauren," Edward jogged to the jeep and gagged after they sped away.

_The next day in the auditorium…all of the Forks High students are there!!_

Lauren smiled as she walked onto the stage with her new, spiky hair do. The red curtain rose and she gasped. Everyone was there!

Edward was giving some kind of speech. Lauren smiled. He was going to announce their relationship in front of the whole school.

Edward turned and frowned at her. She pranced over to him.

"Hey, Edward," She giggled into the mike.

"Lauren, what did you do to your hair?"

"I cut it. For you. Remember last night? Your car broke down and you-"

Emmett and Jasper stood up. "He was with us at the movies!" They yelled.

Mike stood up. "Yeah! They were in my theater!"

Jessica stood up, too. "I saw them there, too!"

Lauren blushed. "Edward! You were there!"

"No, Lauren. I was with my brothers." Edward said (the mike was getting all of this)

"What about the tow truck?"

"What? Lauren, I think you'd better sit down."

"Edward Cullen! You said that if I cut my hair that you'd date me!"

All of the students laughed.

Jessica yelled at Lauren. "Edward Cullen? Date you? HA! Does he look like a Ken doll?"

The students all laughed even more.

Edward got them to quiet down. "I'm sorry, Lauren, but I would never date you."

Lauren started crying and her mascara ran down her cheeks. One of her fake eye lashes fell out and it fluttered to the floor.

"Why?" She sobbed.

Edward picked up the eyelash. "Because I don't date Barbie dolls. I hate plastic."

The students cheered and a school nurse came to help Lauren off the stage. She felt Lauren's head.

The nurse didn't notice that she was in front of another mike and she spoke her mind when she felt Lauren's head. "You already have Botox?!"

All of the students laughed and started cheering "Barbie, Barbie, Barbie!"

Lauren screamed in anger and stormed off the stage, officially hating everyone in Forks High School.

Emmett and Jasper ran up to Edward.

"Barbie hates Edward!" They said in girly voices.

"Shut up," Edward laughed.

"That was hilarious," Emmett chuckled. "I just can't get over the whole 'Barbie, Barbie, Barbie' thing!"

The Cullen boys laughed along with the other students; they were planning yet another prank.

A/N: Finally; Edward pranked Lauren!! YAY!! Who do you guys want next??


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Tada!! Chapter 9!! I'm going to try and update as much as possible because I'm moving soon. Hope you like this chapter!!**

Alice Cullen's silver cell phone rang; she looked at caller ID, then answered it.

"Hey, Edward! How was yours and Carlisle's hunting trip?"

"It was good; we're back in town now. Where's Bella?"

"Um…She and Esme went to get some candles that I ordered for the wedding."

"She _wanted_ to go? Or did you make her?"

"Oh, Edward! Of course she wanted to go."

"What store are they at?"

"The department store in Port Angeles."

"I'm going to pick her up; see you."

"Bye, Edward."

Alice closed the phone then smiled wickedly at Emmett. He grinned and he and Bella ran out the door to the jeep.

Meanwhile, Edward drove to Port Angeles. He listened to his favorite 50's song while he drove. When he made it to Port Angeles, he saw Esme getting into Carlisle's Mercedes.

"Esme!" He called.

She looked up at him and waved. "Hi, Edward!"

Edward got out of his car, walked over to the Mercedes, and opened the passenger door. No one was in the seat.

"Esme," Edward sighed. "Where's Bella?"

"Who? Oh, Bella! Emmett came by and picked her up."

"Why?" Edward growled.

"He wanted to teach her how to play baseball."

"HE WHAT?"

"Honey, calm down. They're at the field."

Edward marched back to his car, fuming. He grumbled all the way to the clearing. Then, he got there.

When Edward saw Emmett and no Bella, he lost it.

"Emmett!" He roared. "Where is Bella?"

Emmett grinned. "She went with Jasper and Rose to another clearing. Jasper wanted to show her something…"

That was all Edward needed to hear. He darted off into the trees, catching Jasper's scent. He followed it to a clearing. He saw Rose leaning over something in the tall grass, her lips blood red-literally.

Jasper was pacing back and forth, muttering angrily. Edward didn't see Bella, and he began putting the scene together.

He stormed out of the trees, slamming into Jasper.

"What did you do?" Edward glared at him.

"It's not what you think, Edward," Rose laughed shakily. "We would've told you, but it just kind of happened."

" '_Just kind of happened' _? Rose, Jasper. What have you two done?" Edward tried to see Bella in the grass, but he couldn't.

Rose shook her head. "We didn't do anything."

"Oh really? How bad are the wounds?"

"I don't know," Jasper mumbled. "I'm not Alice."

Rose nodded. "Yeah. And, we weren't done anyway. Did you want some?"

Edward gaped at her. "Want some? That's my fiancée out there!"

He jabbed a finger towards the grass behind Rose.

"We're sorry Edward! She was just too slow!" Jasper whined.

"Jasper! That's beside the point!" Edward roared.

"Well, what do you want me to do about it? Why don't you go sniff her out?"

Edward clenched his hand into a fist. "Why would I do that?"

"So you can find out where she is," Jasper rolled his eyes.

"Where she is? You mean to tell me that Bella really is…?" Edward felt the same shock go through him like it had a year ago.

Rose sighed. "We've lost her, Edward."

Edward glared up at her balefully. His eyes were coal black, despite the recent trip. She bit her bottom lip and smiled sheepishly at Edward.

He sunk to the ground, not seeing anything. Then, he spoke. "Rose, why is it always you who has the bad news?"

"What are you talking about, Edward?" Jasper frowned.

"First…_then_…and now…" Edward glared at Rose. "You're the prettiest grim reaper I've ever seen."

Rose shook her head. "How was what I told you grim? It's just a slight problem."

Edward threw a rock at her head; she fell over.

"Okay," Jasper sighed. "I'm going to finish up lunch."

Edward threw a tree at him. Jasper fell over, too.

Edward heard a twig crack in the woods. He braced himself for whatever was coming, even though he was all but falling apart.

"Jasper!" Bella's voice echoed into the clearing. "Rose! How could you guys do this to me? He's going to throw rocks at you two!"

"Bella?" Edward gasped, but it was no more than a whisper.

"You guys! He's going to kill you!" There was another crack of a twig. "Ouch! Jasper, help! It's burning! Where am I?"

Edward's snarl reached Bella's ears. _He is going to kill us_, She thought, snickering.

"Bella!" Edward called, feeling stupid. "I'm talking to a hallucination; great." He shook his head and called again. "Bella? Where are you?"

"Ow! Edward? Is that you? Did they tell you?" Bella called back.

"Yes! Bella love, where are you?" He yelled.

"Ouch! This is hell!"

"What?! That's impossible!"

"Not for me! I should have listened to Alice."

"Listened to Alice?"

"Yeah. She told me to take the narrow path, but I went with the wider one."

Edward let his head fall into his hands. "You're in hell?" He whispered.

"Yes, and it hurts!"

Edward kicked Jasper in the ribs. He looked up and saw Bella step out from the trees with Esme, Alice, Carlisle, and Emmett. What on earth?

Jasper and Rose scrambled to their feet and went to stand with the others.

"Hey, Bella. Sorry about that. I went too fast, huh?" Jasper grinned at her.

"Yeah, just a bit. But, don't worry about it." Bella smiled at Edward. "Hi, Edward."

Edward just stared at her. "Hi?"

"Yes. How was the trip?"

"How was yours?" He whispered.

"Oh," She and the others laughed. "Painful. That wide path is a killer."

"Hmph," Edward scoffed.

Emmett stepped forward; Edward noticed the video camera's hanging up in some of trees. They all pointed at Edward.

Emmett grinned and placed a hand on Edward's shoulder. "Sorry about the loss, bro."

"Thanks, Emmett."

"But, you know what will make it easier?"

"I'm not going to a club, Emmett."

Emmett pouted. "Fine. But you should know that…"

"YOU'VE JUST BEEN PUNKED!" Bella and the rest of the Cullens laughed.

"Are you serious?" Edward said, and the others laughed louder.

Edward laughed, too, slapping his knee. Bella ran into him, and he kissed her lightly on the lips.

He laughed again. "That was good," He grinned at his family. "You were all in on it?"

They all nodded and laughed.

"Wow. I've been pranked," Edward chuckled, reaching into his back pocket and pulling out a box of matches, "and it's all on camera?"

Emmett grinned. "Every bit. Bella, too."

"So, what Jasper and Rose were saying was that Bella had fallen behind on the way to this place. They had grabbed a bite while they waited. The whole narrow and wide path thing was really clever. And you called the forest hell, Bella, because you were tripping over everything. Hilarious!" Edward laughed, then glared at his family. "You know what would be even funnier?"

Carlisle sighed. "What?"

"Emmett getting his pinky burned off!" Edward flung lit matches at them.

They all jumped back, laughing stopped.

"Edward Anthony Masen Cullen!" Esme called as she and the others backed away from the flames. "That was very immature!"

Edward rolled his eyes. "Get out of here, all of you, before I rip you up!"

They were all gone within five seconds.

Bella punched Edward lightly. "That was mean! You could have killed them!"

Edward grinned. "Bella." He held up the box of matches. "These are fireworks. Prank matches."

Bella gasped, then laughed with him.

"That was brilliant," She laughed.

"Rose let a few things slip inside her head. I played along, though." He grinned like a little kid who liked to make trouble. "Did you really think I would go down that easily?"

Bella laughed. "Who's next, Oh Prankster Extraordinaire?"

Edward smiled crookedly. "I'm highly considering Alice."


	10. Chapter 10

Edward Cullen snickered to himself as Carlisle and Alice walked into the room.

"I have an awesome feeling about this one," Emmett grinned.

"If she doesn't see what we don't want her to," Edward laughed.

Carlisle smiled at them. "Hello, boys. Anything exciting happen while we were gone?"

Alice's smile vanished and her eyes grew wide. After a few moments of silence, she began shaking.

"Carlisle!" She shrieked.

"What is it, Alice?"

Edward and Emmett fought their laughs.

"Esme and Rose! They…they…they slipped."

"Slipped?"

"They killed someone, Carlisle."

Carlisle's forehead creased and he shook his head. "No, not those two."

Alice nodded. "I'm sorry."

"Who did they get, Alice?" Emmett asked.

Alice grimaced. "It looked like Charlie."

"No. Way. For real?" Emmett asked, shocked.

Alice nodded. There was a knock at the door. It was Bella.

Bella came in with a worried look on her face. She stood in between Emmett and Edward, but she looked at all of them.

"Have you guys seen Charlie? The station called my house looking for him," She said.

Alice smiled. "Nope, we sure haven't."

"Yeah," Carlisle smiled cheesily. "Let's go with that."

Edward shot him a dark look. "Bella, Emmett and I are going to look for him, okay?"

Bella nodded. "See you."

Edward and Emmett left, so it was just Alice, Bella, and Carlisle. Alice danced around the living room, cleaning. Carlisle sat on the couch and Bella was in a chair across from him. He was biting his nails.

"Carlisle," Bella said, "maybe you shouldn't bite your nails."

He just looked at her and smiled. "You're right." He continued to bite them, though.

"You do know that your nails won't grow back, right? Just like your hair."

Carlisle stopped biting and sat on his hands. He laughed nervously.

"What has got you acting so strange?" Bella almost snickered.

"Who, me? Oh, nothing," Carlisle gave that same faux grin.

"Uh huh."

Alice skipped over to Carlisle. "Can I speak with you in the kitchen, Carlisle?"

"Sure, Alice," Carlisle stood.

Bella frowned. "What's wrong? Something's wrong, isn't it?"

Carlisle laughed shakily. "No, no! Haha. Why would you think that?"

Alice dug her nails into his shoulder.

"Alice! That hurt!" Carlisle rubbed his shoulder.

Alice rolled her eyes and pulled him into the kitchen, shutting the door.

"You could be a little more believable, you know," She snapped.

"I'm doing my best!" Carlisle complained.

"She's already realized that something is wrong."

"Well, maybe she'll forget about it."

"Carlisle!"

"What?!"

"Charlie may be dead!" Alice hissed.

"Oh yeah. That."

"What do you mean, 'That'? This is her _father _we're talking about!"

"You know, Alice. You're very bright."

"Thank you."

"The future's bright but, you are brighter," Carlisle grinned.

"Isn't that a song?"

"I don't know…anyway," Carlisle sighed. "You see almost everything, but I think you missed something."

"About what? Charlie? Did I miss calculate?" Alice said, panicking.

"Yes," Carlisle said matter-o-factly.

"What did I miss, Carlisle?"

"Remember how you were cleaning out there?"

"Yes."

"Well, when we were walking into the kitchen, I noticed that you missed a couple of dust bunnies."

Alice groaned and slapped herself in the head. Then, she stopped when she heard Bella's voice.

"Hey, Rose," Bella said. "What's in the trash bag?"

Alice and Carlisle were out in the living room in an instant. Rose and Esme held a garbage bag in their hands.

"Oh, just an old dress of Esme's," Rose waved a hand.

"Oh. Is that an arm?!" Bella shrieked.

Edward and Emmett burst through the door then.

"Crap, Ed. We're too late," Emmett muttered.

Bella was freaking out. "Esme, why are your hands red?!"

Carlisle fell face first onto the floor. "I wanted to tell you, Bella!" He yelled into the carpet. "They killed Charlie!" Carlisle sat up and eyed the bag. "Is that Jasper?"

Rose nodded. "He got in the way."

Edward was holding Bella in his arms. Alice snarled.

"You killed Jasper?!" Alice hissed.

"Chill out, psychic. He's already reassembled his torso," Rose rolled her eyes.

"What? Rose! I'm going to kill you!"

Alice was about to move, but then Jasper spoke from the bag. "Shoot!" He griped.

"What is it, Jazz?" Emmett asked.

"I put on Charlie's arm! And his foot!"

Alice's face got even whiter. She looked around the room, mouthing words, but never saying them.

Everyone else started laughing. Alice glared at them all.

"What is so funny?" She demanded.

Jasper crawled out of the bag. "Good thing I'm flexible."

Everyone but Alice roared with laughter.

"Did you really pull one over Alice's head, Edward?" Emmett asked.

Edward nodded. "I think I did."

Alice glared at him. "You. Pranked. Me?!"

"Yes. I didn't think it was possible, but I guess I was wrong," Edward chuckled.

Alice smiled darkly. "I hope you can still run with one leg," She hissed.

Everyone's laughter stopped. Emmett turned to Edward.

"You better go, dude. I mean just look at her; so tiny, but so scary!" Emmett shivered.

Alice did look like she was going to kill someone.

She smiled at Edward. "Ten, nine, eight…"

"I think I'll take you up on that offer, Emmett," Edward started backing up to the door. "I'll be home soon, Bella."

Bella waved as Edward vanished with his speed. Alice raced after him.

Esme laughed softly. "He had it coming."

Emmett grinned. "Anyone up for a bet?"

**A/N: Okay, I am really trying to update as much as I can before the move. I hope you guys liked this one!! I think I'm going to do Carlisle next, but idk for sure. Let me know if you want anyone specific pranked, ok? Thanks for reading; I love you all!! **


	11. Cofee break, blood break

Hey fans,

Don't bite my head off, please!!

I just wanted to let all of you who read _Edward the Prankster _know that I'm taking a break from that story. THIS DOES NOT MEAN THAT I AM FINISHED WITH IT. I am just taking a break.

I want to work on a more serious story, you know? One less comical. I am a real life writer, so I want to do something that's in my comfort zone. I promise that the story will be continued, but for now I'm going to focus on more things. School has started again and so my comical side is a little bit drained, so to speak. Feel free to leave me suggestions via review.

Thank you all so much for adding me to your fave author lists, author subscription, and ect. I write for my fans!! Thanks for your support and giving your time to read my fan fiction.

I love you all!!

**..:MADI:..**


	12. Chapter 12

Carlisle and Esme were making a salad for Charlie in the Cullens' kitchen. Esme was at working cutting up the lettuce and other veggies. Carlisle was _supposed_ to be opening the tomato sauce for the spaghetti.

Carlisle glanced at the can on the counter once, and then picked up a long stick of French bread. He poked the can gently with the bread.

Esme laughed. "Carlisle, darling, what _are _you doing?"

"Just checking to make sure _he_ hasn't spoofed our kitchen."

"You've poked the can of sauce ten times now."

"I'm just being thorough."

"Just open it, Carlisle," Esme grinned.

Carlisle sighed and grabbed the can. He peeled back the metal lid….

"Ahh!"

Carlisle fell back on the floor as more of the fake snakes rained down on him. He stared up at the ceiling, obviously peeved.

"What did I tell you, Esme? _I told you _he would get me!"

Esme shook her head, still cutting. "How do you know it was Edward? It could've been Emmett."

"Emmett? Emmett's not that creative."

"Carlisle!"

"What? It's true. Even Alice wouldn't have pranked me using something so…so…so _obvious_! Edward is a genius."

Esme sighed, and then she gasped. Carlisle stood up, only to see her shaking her hand frantically. The knife was stuck to her hand.

Carlisle guffawed, and Esme glared at him.

"Haha! He got you, too!" Carlisle chortled.

"It's not funny!" Esme said, but she laughed, too. "Oh, yes it is!"

"He is in so much trouble."

Carlisle grinned. "You say that like punishing him will make him stop."

"It will," Esme said.

"Well, in that case, _good luck_."

**A/N: Sorry it's been so long! Hope you guys enjoyed this one! =]**


	13. Chapter 13

"Edward, what do we do when there's a storm?" Esme asked coolly.

"We play baseball, Mother."

"And, what do you do when you get in trouble?"

Edward sighed. "Esme, I am truly sorry about the knife. And, please forgive me for the snakes in the can, Carlisle."

Carlisle snorted. "As if."

"Carlisle," Esme scolded.

"Fine!" Carlisle stuck his tongue out at Edward. "I…_forgive_ you."

Edward grinned. "Thanks, Dad."

Carlisle rolled his eyes, but he smiled at Edward. "Sure, son."

"Edward, I accept your apology, but, dear, please stop your raucous pranking." Esme smiled gently. "You're a genius, truly. But, why not use your talent in another field of some sort?"

Edward stood to hug Esme. "Of course, Mother. I think I'm going to go call someone for violin lessons."

Edward left, and Esme laughed.

"Ha. It did make him stop."

Carlisle chuckled. "Right. The Prankster is going to stop pranking."

"He is."

"Okay, okay."

"Carlisle, please. If you don't believe in something, no one does. You have to believe Edward will stop so everyone else will."

"What?"

"If we all believe in him, he'll stop."

Carlisle sighed. "Wouldn't it be easier to put him on that 'Intervention' show?"

"That show is for people with real addiction problems."

"Are you saying Edward doesn't have an addiction problem? For Aro's sake, the kid nearly killed his girlfriend."

"Carlisle!" Esme gasped. "Carlisle, how could you say that?"

"I'm kidding! _Kidding_, Esme."

"You don't 'kid' about things like that."

"Then _you _don't 'kid' about his problem!"

"I'm calling Grandma because Mommy and Daddy are fighting again!"

Carlisle and Esme both looked to the right to see Alice leaning against the kitchen doorway, grinning.

"Hey, guys. Please, don't fight." Her grin turned into a pout.

"We weren't fighting, Alice," Esme crooned. "Your father just-"

"Oh, I know. It's about Edward."

"Yes. No matter what we do, he just won't stop."

"Maybe we should just be sincere and ask him to. You know Edward loves us all enough not to…JASPER!"

Jasper was standing in the kitchen with Carlisle, Esme, and Alice now. He was covered from head to toe in mud. He brushed some dirt off of his collar, and looked at Alice.

"Morning," he said.

"Jasper! What _happened_ to you?!" Alice piped.

"Well, I thought I'd take the jeep out for a spin. It spun alright."

"Oh, no! Was Emmett angry? Did it break? What was wrong with it?"

Jasper smiled and laughed. "No, yes, and Edward."

WILL EDWARD STOP PRANKING?

IS THIS THE LAST _PRANKSTER_ STORY?

THE END?

TO BE CONTINUED?

WHAT DO _**YOU**_ WANT?


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